Prioritize your relationship? I spoke in Ghana to a group of CEOs, politicians, and faith leaders about the importance of relationships.
Anyone who understands business knows that the ability to build and Maintain relationships with clients, customers, staff, and other companies is a prerequisite for successful business.
If you can’t build relationships, you are being torn down. Building relationships takes time that people often aren’t willing to devote, partly because time is a limited resource for us all.
Most of us have, at one time or another, spent a lot of energy, time, and effort investing in relationships that show little return. I don’t necessarily mean financial return.
I mean advancement, growth, or alignment with your vision. I’d rather you waste my money than waste my time.
I earnestly believe that you must quantify the time you spend in relationships that may not be destructive but yet may be counterproductive to what you are trying to accomplish. It’s not enough to invest money into your destiny if you waste time.
The true barometer to help you evaluate the relationships to invest in must center on this significant question: How does this this person fit into m destiny and purpose?
If you would approach your time with the same sense of fiduciary duty as your money, you would see a far greater return.
People who are truly engaged want to know, “Where do I fit in your life and destiny?” Until that question can be answered, good people will leave you because they can’t live in the clutter of your indecisiveness! To maximize the years you have left, clear the clutter!
Priorities can require us to find new friends and associates. Be selective and determine your associations carefully. Prioritize the persons with whom you will spend time and know why they are in your life.
Your old buddy from junior high may not be the best person for you to associate with. You may be from the “hood” and try to prove that you haven’t forgotten where you came from.
Old acquaintances may even accuse you of forgetting where you came from. Staying in touch with the old gang from the “hood” is not a requirement for Destiny, and you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.
Sometimes you simply have to break away from unhealthy people and relationships. When ex-offenders are placed on parole or probation, very often there are stipulations regarding persons they may spend time with to reduce the likelihood of a repeat offense.
The first thing to do in deciding what stays in your life and what goes is to determine what nourishes you and strengthens you.
While it is nice to be philanthropic, many are trying to help while they are not capable of standing strong themselves. If you’ve been off track and lost time, missed moments, and had failures and delays, before you can help from your heart, you have to stabilize your head.
Making decisions that invest before you make decisions that withdraw is critical for survival, whether in finances or relationships or time management.
Ultimately, we want to be successful so that we can make a difference in the lives of others. But before you can be successful, you have to be a survivor.
To move from survival to success, we must begin by investing in what invests in us. Pour into relationships that pour into you.
I know that sounds like common sense, but it is not that common. You’ve got to have somebody who can feed you so you can feed somebody else.
Many people feed others who can’t feed them, while they completely fail to nourish those who really desire to feed them.
When Deuteronomy 25:4 says, “Don’t muzzle the mouth of the ox that treads the grain,” it simply means feed what is feeding you! If you’re feeding people who can’t feed you, it’s only a matter of time before that constant feeding will begin to drain you.
Don’t keep feeding the same people for years and years. Be intentional about the people you are connected to.
If you are to live as a child of Destiny, you will interact with three basic types of people. The first and most important type of person you will encounter is a confidant, You will have very few of them in your lifetime.
In fact, if you find two or three in your entire lifetime, you are tremendously blessed. Confidants are the people who love you unconditionally.
They are into you. They have your back whether you’re up or down. They are with you for the long haul. If you get in trouble, they won’t abandon you.
Confidants will come get you out of jail. They’ll pull you out of a drug house and love you all the while. You need a good confidant in order to reach Destiny.
Confidants are for you and with you and intimately intertwined in your life. They are with you to make sure you reach Destiny.
They will challenge you and confront you to stay on the path to Destiny. They will get all in your business and in your face if they think you are out of order.
They are not afraid to tell you when you’re wrong and affirm you when you are right. Without them you’ll never be who God called you to be.
The next type of person you will encounter is constituents. You will likely have many of them in your lifetime. Constituents are not into you; rather, they are into what you are for.
They are not for you, nor does your destiny matter to them. But as long as you are for what they are for, they will walk with you and work with you.
But it ends there. Never think they are on your team to stay for the long haul. Constituents are not confidants.
Understand the nature of constituents because these are the people who will walk away if they meet someone else who will further their agenda.
Constituents are always looking for a better deal. They will abandon you to hook up with another person who better serves their purpose or their need.
But if you understand who constituents are and their role and purpose in your life, you won’t be too sad when they walk away.
They were never in your life for you; they were in your life because they perceived that you and they were for the same thing. They were with you as long as you were for what they were for.
Throughout your life, it’s essential not to get caught up in the hype of a constituency. Any politician can tell you that.
Have you ever seen a popular politician fall from the grace of his or her constituents? It’s amazing to watch as the transgressions of a beloved political figure come to light.
Suddenly and swiftly, those who once were supporters begin to back away. Take care not to mistake your constituents for your confidants, particularly at times when you are broken.
Constituents will fool you because after you’ve fallen in love with them, they will break your heart as they abandon you to connect with someone else who is for what they are for.
The last people group you will encounter is comrades. They are not for you, nor are they for what you are for. They are against what you are against. Comrades make strange bedfellows.
They will team up with you, not so you can reach your destiny, but to fight a common enemy. Don’t be fooled or confused by the close Connection.
They will only be with you until the victory happens. Comrades are like scaffolding. They come into your life to fulfill a purpose.
They give you support for a time, but that time will only last as long as the common enemy lasts. When the purpose is complete, the scaffolding is removed.
But don’t be upset when the scaffolding is taken away, because the building is still standing. Prioritize your associations with confidants, constituents, and comrades.
Expect the constituents and the comrades to leave you after a while. And please don’t be upset when they don’t react to your dream the way you expected them to, because they were never for you or with you in the first place.
By now you may be thinking that it would simply be easier to avoid both constituents and comrades alike, but that’s not how the world operates.
The only thing you need to do is be careful and prioritize your relationships knowing the position and role people play in your life.
For instance, be careful whom you tell your dream to, because if you tell your dream to your constituents, they will desert you and try to fulfill the dream without you.
If you tell comrades, they won’t support you because they were never for what you were for anyway. Seek the people in your life who are safe to share your dream with. And if you find just a few during your lifetime, you are indeed blessed.
If you are dating a young lady who berates you for not having the material things you’ve delayed purchasing to fulfill your dream, she may be just a constituent.
If your neighbor has never treated you kindly but comes to you because he wants your help to defeat an amendment that will negatively affect your neighborhood, don’t get too excited.
He’s probably just a comrade. When the bill gets defeated, after the election, he will go right back to ignoring you.
You can separate your comrades and constituents from someone who has the potential to be a confidant with a simple test.
If someone is really with you they will weep when you weep and they will rejoice when you rejoice. If you share some good news with someone and they don’t rejoice with you, stop telling them your business!
Try it sometime: If you walk into a room and tell someone about good things that are happening to you, stop celebrating long enough to watch their reaction.
If they are not happy for you, shut your mouth, turn around, and walk back out the door. Share your dream with people who want you to succeed.
Prioritize your relationship? Share your thought below….
